7 Magic Words to Happiness

The Success Margin

Sunday, March 26, 2006

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There is a definite link between happiness and success in this sense. The happier you are, the more successful you are likely to be. In this issue of The Success Margin I will further clarify this point.

Are you ready to accept the greatest gift I or perhaps anyone else has ever given you?

Today, dear reader, I’m going to offer you some magic words that have the power to change your life. I know that’s an incredible promise. And if you are skeptical, I wouldn’t blame you. But I can assure you the magic words I will give you, if used, will bring you a lifetime of happiness. And nothing less!

First, a brief background.

As long as I can remember I’ve been intrigued by the mystery of how to achieve happiness. Some would even say I’ve been obsessed by it. Why? Ihave always wanted to become a happy, positive person myself.

What intrigued me was this simple observation.Nearly everyone I’ve ever met, including my friends and family, is sad and unhappy most all the time. Indeed, the most popular conversation amongst all people I’ve been with consists of complaints and negativity about life.

Think about your own life. I’d bet the truly happy people you could point to are few and far between. If you’ve known more than a handful of such people, I feel you have been truly blessed.

Individuals who are happy, optimistic, positive and self-confident are definitely the rarest of humans.

Does happiness come from achievements? Or special events in life?

Clearly, happiness does not come from business success. Material possessions. A certain amount of money in the bank. A terrific family. Or even a super romantic relationship.

I know millionaires and billionaires with every blessing imaginable who are depressed and unhappy. And a few individuals who have almost nothing resembling the above who are happy,content, and optimistic.

You can be miserable in a huge mansion. And happy in a modest apartment.

What, then, is the secret to happiness?

I’ve pursued my own happiness with diligence.I’m going to reveal the most important lessons I’ve learned.

I submit that all happiness is a result of our self-talk. Our internal dialogue is the key. It’s all in the words we use.

It matters not what happens to us in life, but in the words we use silently to “frame” it in our minds.

Our emotional state–happiness, depression, anger, joy, etc.–follows from the words we use with ourselves.

The subconscious mind, which is many times more powerful than our conscious mind, gives off signals which are translated into human emotions.

You may have read the profound poem which illustrates this point so well:

“Two men looked through prison bars. One saw the night, and one saw the stars.”

We humans can be happy even in a prison, or in poverty, if we learn how to talk to our subconscious.

Think for a moment about the incredible implications.

Of course, I’m not alone in discovering the amazing power of the silent words we use in our self-talk.

Numerous studies have been made which link self-talk with not only our emotions. But also with measurable physiological effects in our bodies. Your heart rate, blood pressure, muscletension and level of stress are all impacted, or even controlled by, your self-talk.

Meditation based upon self-talk and its effects on the body has undergone years of study. So has the effects of self-hypnosis, also based on the impact of words upon us.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming has shown us manyof the effects of positive self-talk as well as the important role of physiology on our emotional state.

So, while you might rightfully expect this scribbler to discuss marketing and copywriting on these pages, I can tell you this.

The most important copy you will ever write is that which you create and print each day on your own subconscious.

The words you say silently to yourself as well as out loud to others result in all your emotions.

I’m going to present you with new alternatives.New magic words. And other tips which I use in my own life.

The most powerful phrase I’ve ever used I happened to hear a few months ago on the Larry King T.V. program during his interview with the comedienne Carol Burnett. Carol was talking lovingly about her late daughter Carrie. And what an inspiration she was, even while suffering from lung and brain cancer. But she lived each day to the maximum.

She was known for using this seven-word phrase herself and teaching it to all her friends and contacts in their self-talk:

“Today I’m going to love my life.”

These words impacted me so much. I tried them.Then I added them to my own favorite self-talk phrases.

The impact of this very simple phrase has been astonishing.

Try it yourself right now. Say it silently. And now say it out loud.

“Today I’m going to love my life.”

You will be delighted with how you feel.Especially when you use these words upon rising.

Even if you are experiencing some frustrations,disappointments or even tragedies, as we all do in life, use these words.

You don’t even have to believe them when you say them. Your subconscious will integrate and use them anyway.

Even if you are experiencing, e.g., unemploy-ment, business or financial setbacks, a family crisis, major relationship issues, an IRS audit, a serious disease or even crippling injury, use these 7 magic words.

Trust me. You’ll be surprised, even over-whelmed, with the power of these 7 words.

Once again:

“Today I’m going to love my life”

** Other helpful tips **

— Meditate once or twice a day for 20 minutes.This powerful exercise will make a huge difference. A good book on the topic is The Relaxation Response by Dr. Herbert Benson.

— Physiology is also important. The experts say the way you use your body can account for 54% of your emotions. For some simple-to-follow instructions, use my affirmation exercises (available upon request–ask for the “Yes” exercise). I use these affirmations, which also include physiology,every day. Especially when I’m about to perform tasks such as writing copy or making an important speech.

— Breathe deeply through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Do this for at least two minutes.

— Walk at least 30-60 minutes 4 times a week.

— Smile as often as possible. Practice in front of a mirror. You’ll feel better yourself and will be thrilled and delighted with how much better all your relationships will be.

— Avoid negative people. They can wear you down and cause sadness and depression. Don’t walk away from them. Run!

Spend as much time as possible with positive,cheerful, enthusiastic people. Happiness is contagious.

** Common phrases make a big difference to your emotional state **

The words you say out loud to others also have as strong an influence on your emotions as your silent self-talk. Your spoken words have a cumulative effect on your subconscious.

When you use negative words and phrases they drag you down as well as the person to whom you are speaking.

When people ask you how you are, avoid these common responses:

— I’ve been better

— Not bad

— Do you really want to know?

— How much time do you have?

— Fair to middlin’

— So-so

— I’m O.K.

— Comme ci, comme ca

Often such replies are just bad habits.

So, here is my normal reply and what I recommend to you.

When people ask, “Ted, how are you?”, I say:

“Better and better!”

At first it may feel a bit odd when you say it. But persevere and it will become a habit.

You are dedicated to the relentless pursuit of excellence, are you not? You probably wouldn’t be a subscriber to The Success Margin unless you were.

Achieving happiness is the best example I know of the one powerful attribute that only humans possess. Our ability to choose. This attribute makes us human beings.

Happiness is a choice. And so is misery and unhappiness. Which do you choose?

I’d be pleased to hear from you about your own personal happiness journey and of what value this writing has been to you.

Dedicated to your continued success, which is always in the margin.

Your correspondent,

Ted Nicholas